I’m a bit of an introvert. Typically I come off as socially stunted, bitchy, snobbish, disinterested. In reality, I am none of these. I am taking it all in. I am watching everything. Listening to everything. Absorbing my surroundings and the people in them and processing it in my own quiet way. The people that know me and love me accept this and never push me to be otherwise. Ok, a beer helps.
However, this personality quirk of mine also makes it hard to insert myself into my new world. I still have mommy friends. Only a couple would I consider close enough to share details. The thing about mommy friends is that I met them through playgroups when my kids were little. Having your kids as a commonality is a great way to start a friendship. Nothing bonds you like puke and labor and delivery stories.
I’m still looking for that lesbian playgroup. But I still look like a suburban mommy. I’m not switching to flannel permanently. I might have shoved my heels to the very back of my closet but that doesn’t mean I don’t love that girly shit.
Part of my journey in finding myself (god, so cliche) is finding the places I fit, where I will be comfortable to be me. I have met a couple of people in class. I like them, they’re nice, but they don’t know me. I can’t imagine ever feeling comfortable enough to tell them either. The LGBT group I checked out one day (some panel discussion thing) was a very young crowd. I certainly don’t feel comfortable with the 18-22 year old crowd. But I reach out, try, teeny bits.
Here is a bit of Jena info for you.
She loves her kids. She loves music. She loves to dance. She loves to help those she loves. She listens. She won’t shut up in the right circle. She loves beer. She looooooves hummus. She is in love. She loves the sun. She loves long walks in the sun.
She doesn’t love statistics. She doesn’t like not getting enough sleep. She doesn’t like mean people. She doesn’t like stepping in dog shit. She doesn’t like cooking. She doesn’t like being poked. And mouth noises make her fucking crazy.