It's been one week. Am I still sad? Of course. Am I ok? Of course. Did I expect Bob to come trotting around the corner at least 47 times? Yep. Just like you reach for the light switch in a power outage, I still found myself reaching for the same patterns with Bob. Oh Alli, how about a playdate today? Oh. Shit. Every time this week I reached for the food bins to feed dogs while at Billie's I winced and teared up. Sorry doggies, I think you're going to need to go without food today so I don't have to think. (No dogs went hungry during this week of mourning.)

I've heard many stories this week of people losing their dogs. I've thought a shitton about people that have lost actual humans in tragedies. I'm not talking grandmothers or elderly neighbors, but 19 year olds in car crashes. Three year olds with tumors. College students simply walking to class and getting run over. I don't like any of it. It makes me worry. It makes me feel insecure about everything in my world. I miss my kids. I agonize that loved ones are at great risk. It makes me question everything.

So, how do I function? How does anyone function? Does it make us stronger? Does it break us? Does it change us? We tell ourselves that everything will be ok. Maybe it will be. Maybe it won't. But I have homework to do and smiles to bestow and hummus to eat and kids to hug and love to give and memories to share.